The Local Observer News

Local man saved by polite cat

Recently, a man decided to climb a tree located south of the local donuts shop. When asked why he did it - he responded, "I just saw a tree dude. I saw a tree that no one had climbed before - I knew I just had to climb it." The local man, named David Lorax - says he planned his ascent by watching the weather. However - when the weather didn't play nice, he found himself holding on for dear life at the top of a maple tree. "I swore I was going to die, I saw my entire life flash before my eyes." All seemed lost... until ms Brown's Norwegion forest cat, Mittens - Andromeda Brown asked the man if he was in need of assistance. Tea was served upon Lorax's safe descent. "Remember folks, try not to climb too many trees," Concluded polite cat.

Economy flourishes following governer Amazon Alexa's ruling to outlaw ogres, talking donkeys, and rogue tabbies.

Are you one of the people who holds strong prejudices againts creatures that don't belong?
Well, we have good news. In a recent court ruling, supreme council member Kanye decided to reverse the presidents decision to mass deport innocent fairytale creatures. This decision has been heavily critisized by supporters of the president. However, local officials have taken matters in their own hands - as Governer Alexa(R) has shown. In accordance to article 15, all Ogres, Donkeys, and tabbies are required to leave the greater metropolitan area in the next thirty days, or face punishment. The Local observer has reached out to representatives of the robot governess, but have yet to recieve any response.
More on this as the story updates.